Week 3 MKE. Shapes,colours and contrast!!

This weeks challenges that I faced was mostly about accepting that my precious little child (well he is actually a teenager and almost as tall as me, lol!) was needing to have ANOTHER MRI on his brain and this time with a contrast, it is like a clear dye they inject into the veins and it lights up the brain like a Christmas tree! This filled me with fear and anxiety for him as I have always been very plugged into my son’s health and wellness and do not like toxins and foreign things being put into his body.  We have had very tiny amounts of processed food in our fringe or pantry for about 5 years now after learning of all the nasties they add into our food and beverages we as a family made changes along time ago as I got more educated as a mum.  I have always liked that I was in control of his health as much as I could be when he was in my care ( he goes to his dads to sleep over and spend time there too). I had to learn to let go a little as I know I am not in control of his food etc when he is at his dads. This decision about the contrast was a real slap in my face and the realisation that it had come to the time in the process of his medical stuff ,that it was out of my hands now and I had to follow the medical professionals advice. I called them up and asked if it was a vital need and they told me yes so they can get clear images of the tumour and the tissue and vessels etc, he had to have it!!

Oh boy so much anxiety leading up to the day and I hated that I was not in control of his health. I tried to use what I had learnt so far in my MKE and set my mind to the positive and affirm that he was going to be okay and that after it there is no long term damage, my boy had healthy kidneys, they would flush out the toxins right?? I gathered all my intel, spoke to our Naturopath and a friend who is into natural health and wellness and cured Cancer for herself ( another story she’s an inspiration!) they said dose him up on Vitamin C before and after for a few days to help his body eliminate the dye, so I was like okay easy that can be done no problem. Do you think my teenager would have any of this? lol umm no he has a stubborn streak in him as I think most teens do and he told me “I’m not having that stuff. I don’t need it!” Of course he does not have the emotional intelligence just yet to understand about these certain things in life but in the end without too much conflict he agreed he would do it another way by drinking more of our organic Orange Juice, well I had to be happy with that. I found myself facing a new challenge and now I needed to let go of being able to control him and perhaps leave him alone as he is already under a lot of pressure to do what the Drs are saying and it has been a stressful few weeks since diagnosis.

I honestly did the best I could and had forgotten my faith and often I say to others “Let go and let God!” I then I followed my own preaching! Quickly the day came, it was Friday at the end of the week and we found ourselves there, in the MRI department, it was happening, there was no escaping this moment !!My stomach was flipping when they called his name and they took him off to put the catheter in his arm in preparation for the contrast.( I was allowed in for that part, thank goodness, he needed me) He was scared, I was scared but I had to be the strong mum I know I am and show him it was all okay and that he could do it and that it was all going to be fine. He had moments of panic and so did I but I breathed through these moments he was fearful in the chair (Bailey hates needles, so do I) I held his hand and spoke words of positivity into him and I became aware that this is where my studies with my faith, my Master Keys Lessons and Activities really kicked in, had I not been a student for these few weeks I may of not been able to handle the emotions and fear I was experiencing in myself and for him, prayers to God also got us through. My study has defiantly strengthened me as a person and I could feel that I was handling it all in a different way to my past. We are blessed to have a church familyand other loved ones who have been praying for strength and healing for him.

I noticed my old Blueprint was not even peeping in, not a negative, thought anymore. I knew I could do this mum part and he could do this, we had our faith and love and God was getting us through! It was the BEST seeing him walk through the doors after about 50minutes, He did it!! It went great, they injected the contrast 20 minutes into the scans and there was no reaction for it or any freak out from him, he coped extremely well, continued watching the movie they set up for him and they then scanned him for another 20 minutes, seriously proud of this little guy, he is brave and strong and I love him to the moon and back!! I am grateful to the 2 staff members that were a huge reason he was able to follow through, these ladies were angels that day and helped him believe in himself and gave him the confidence he could take all the steps he needed to. Thank you we hope to see you again in January!! Yes he will need more of these, it is just the beginning of the monitoring. Thank you God for keeping him safe!!

Even though honestly I was not able to do my chores and set my mind to the shapes and colours this week I was most definitely working on myself other ways and here I am now recognising change and acceptance that I worked hard this week in a few different ways!

I do feel reading out load in bed is a challenge when I get into bed for Scroll 1. Usually my husband has fallen asleep already, even though we went to bed at the same time, he gets in 1st and as I am in the bathroom brushing my teeth he falls asleep!! I am sorry but how do men do that?? I can not just have my head hit the pillow and I’m in dream land in 2 minutes while having a conversation!! lol!  So hence the reason I feel guilty to disturb him as I read out loud. I am happy though I have stopped using my phone in bed and falling asleep with it near me and although it isn’t an hour of calm before I read the Scroll and Blue Print each night, there are changes I have made. I do feel accomplished and proud of my efforts and feel I am on the right path.